Do It Afraid

When I think back on my life I can remember the times I quit something so early in the process,  whether it be piano, dance, soccer and even school for that matter.  I struggled at a very early age with fear.  If something looked as though it was too difficult or I wouldn't be any good at it, I quit.  I am reminded of jobs I would get and feel as though I just wasn't good enough or I would not be successful at it and I would leave and move on to the next.  I struggled even when I started writing this blog back in Alabama a year ago.  It has always been a dream of mine to write but I got stuck in my own fear of thinking it wasn't going to be good enough or effective enough or perfect, that I just stopped.  It has been a very vicious cycle in my life.

I went to a conference recently and out of the entire experience I was hit with something I believe will change the course of my life.  "Do it afraid."  I, for so long have feared the unknown and the difficult. I pulled out so early in the game never reaching the full potential I know that is in me.  In my mind, I walked around thinking, if it scares me it must not be the "it" I am supposed to do.  When in fact, there is always something which going to look or feel scary. There is always that thing which will look impossible or terrifying.  I believe if we do it afraid, we are pushing through that fear cycle and trusting in the "One" who can.

I think of so many times even in relationships I pushed people away.  I feared getting to close for the simple fact they WILL hurt me or the opposite.  I feared being compared to other friends. I feared not always getting chosen to be the best friend.  I feared there was always going to be somebody better so I will hold everyone at a distance.  I envision standing in a caged box looking through the bars wishing, hoping and dreaming I can get out, at the same time unwilling to just open the door.

I have been spoken over and have heard the Lord minister telling me all the things He says I am and am capable of but believing them for myself and acting on them are totally different.  I have to take off the expectations I have put on myself and do it afraid.  So what if it's terrifying-lead the song. So what if I mess it up-write the story.  So what if I'm not the best friend-be A friend.  Who cares if I'm not eloquent at speaking-speak anyway.

He's pushing me more and more out of the comfortable space I have grown to know and embrace. I heard this in a speech today, "keep throwing the darts until one sticks."  For me that means, don't stop, keep pressing in, push past the fear, keep trying, whatever you do don't give up.  He has placed a dream in me to share the story.  Whatever that looks like He knows.  I am just supposed to say yes.  I am supposed to do it afraid. How can I mess up my own story.  There will always be someONE out there it reaches.  There will always be someONE out there who gets it and needs what you have.  There will always be someONE who needs that last bit of hope you might very well release in your story.

So I challenge you just as well as myself.  Let's not live a life of, "What if." There is a gift, a precious gift inside, inside each and every one of us which is powerful when put with His anointing. He has given you the confidence within to walk it out.  I believe when we have that nauseating feeling it keeps us humble knowing we cannot do it without Him.  So move, speak, write, create, feel, no matter what... "Do it afraid"